The Passively Pursued.

I was passively pursued once. I was 18 and never had a boyfriend. We met at a mutual friend’s house. He sat next to me and put his arm around me because he thought I was cute. After running into each other one or two more times when the same friend would have people over, he asked me out and I said yes. Our dates consisted mostly of watching movies together. He was nice. And I broke up with him 6 months later. He pursued me and I passively let him.

Most, if not all, of us have been in this boat at one time or another. Someone nice approaches you and you think they're just fine. They ask you out and you say yes. You go through the motions of being in a relationship and you know it the whole time: this person chose you and is way more interested in you than you are in them. This happens for a variety of reasons: you don't want to hurt their feelings. Maybe you just want to be with someone and because there aren't any major red flags with this per ...

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But Where's the Spark?

Some call it love at first sight. Fireworks. Je ne sais quoi. Instant attraction. Chemistry. Whatever you call it, most if not all of us have experienced it at one point in time or another: you met someone and went, "Whoa." They swept you off your feet and it was game over. You were hooked. This is what most people crave and what society has told us to expect when it comes to falling in love. They say if you're not feeling that spark, something is wrong and it's time to move on to the next. You'll feel it with the person you're meant to be with is what we're told. But do you really? 

There is a show which just started its 6th season on January 2nd called "Married at First Sight." A team of experts pick from thousands of people who apply to find 3 couples to get married at first sight without ever having met or knowing anything about the other person. Forget going on a blind date - this is blind marriage. The experts match them based on ...

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Expectations: Are They Helping or Hurting You?

I remember one day in high school hanging out with one of my closest friends after school. Sitting in her bedroom, she pulled out a list for me of criteria she had developed for what she wanted her future husband to be like. One of the criteria stood out to me (and it was high up on the list too): play guitar. I remember thinking to myself, "Why does that matter at all? You can be perfectly happy with someone even if they don't play guitar. These are really unrealistic expectations." Fast forward a number of years and she's now married with two children. I'm 99% confident her husband doesn't play guitar. 

Unfortunately, there are so many of us like her: we have an idea in our head of the "ideal partner". We have a checklist or criteria, even if we haven't formally written them down. Some of it makes sense and is quite realistic. And some of it...probably is completely irrelevant. I watch a show called "My Giant ...

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