Right now, my plate is full. My practice is full and I am not accepting new clients for the time being. I am doing a home re-model project with my husband that takes up every spare moment of our weekends. I am busy, busier than I have been in a number of months. It wasn't long ago that I wrote a blog entitled "Hibernation" because with the changes brought about by COVID-19 came a slowing down. That feels like a lifetime ago now. 

If you're anything like me, you don't realize that your plate is full until "food" starts falling off of it. In other words, it is only when you notice yourself dropping the ball on certain tasks that you wake up to how much you've been doing. Sometimes, your plate may be quite full while your partner's plate looks relatively empty by comparison. You may notice feelings of envy and resentment arising within you as they get more time to sit on the couch than you do. On the flip side of th ...

Read more

Some couples argue about housework. Some couples argue about in-laws. Some couples argue about how many children to have. But I can guarantee, that every couple will argue about money at some point in their relationship. It doesn't matter whether you're living paycheck-to-paycheck or have more money in your account than you know what to do with. Because as you'll soon see, arguments about money aren't about the money at all. These arguments are actually about a variety of other issues. The next time you and your partner argue about finances, see if the two of you are actually arguing about any of these issues underneath the surface. 

1. Differing values and priorities

What we spend our money on says a lot about us. How much do we donate to those in need? How much do we spend on hobbies we enjoy? How much do we spend on taking care of our health? When couples are disagreeing about w ...

Read more

A few years ago, my therapist taught me a metaphor that forever changed me. She started speaking about yards, of all things. We have our own yard and the people in our lives have theirs. Some people's yards are well-maintained, with green grass and flowers blossoming everywhere. Other people's yards are the opposite, containing overgrown weeds and grass that's too tall. It can be all too tempting to want to be a "caring neighbor" and feel a strong pull to go into their yard and clean it up. After all, wouldn't they appreciate it? Wouldn't it make us feel better to not have to see their unkempt yard everyday? It could have that effect. Or it could result in them yelling at us to get off their property and us exerting time and energy that could have gone towards other things. 

Maybe you already see where I'm going here with this metaphor but just in case you're a little confused, our "yard" is a metaphor for our life (and all the pro ...

Read more