The Next Thing.

For as long as I can remember, I've focused on the next thing. I do it without conscious awareness. I focus on what my next meal will be (i.e. what I'm going to eat for dinner that night before I've eaten lunch), plans coming up in a few days or that important date on the calendar in a couple months that marks something important. I am rarely, if ever, truly present with what is right in front of me in the here and now. Maybe you're like me, too. 

In some ways, we HAVE to think ahead. Imagine what would happen if we didn't. People wouldn't have career aspirations and likely wouldn't complete college (because you have to think ahead about the big picture). People might struggle with getting married even more than they already do (because you're not just signing up to be with this person for today, you're signing up to be with them for a lifetime). Our calendars inevitably fill with plans and things we're looking forward to. ...

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The Blueprint.

On a recent episode of "This is Us", the episode focused on babies being born. Jack, the patriarch in "This is Us" who is a father of triplets, is just coming home from the hospital after his children are born. They begin crying in the car and Jack and his wife pull into a gas station to get gas. Jack is feeling overwhelmed and while at the gas station, he buys a small bottle of alcohol. He chugs it down before returning to the car. He asks his wife to drive home and later confesses to her that he asked her to drive because he drank at the gas station. "I'm just like my father", he says, as his father was an alcoholic throughout his childhood. 

The thing is, Jack isn't like his father. As fans of the show know, Jack chooses sobriety when his children are still young and is a great father to them in a way his father never was with him. What Jack is acknowledging when he tells his wife about being "just like his father" is his bluepri ...

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The Power of Lowering Expectations

I am a Type A personality and a perfectionist. Some days, it feels like I am in constant motion. I hold myself to high standards when it comes to getting things done in a timely fashion. I do not procrastinate and for most of my life, I have taken great pride in that. On the surface, these may sound like positive traits to have. It's great to have a good work ethic. Having good time management skills is valued. These are things many people want and I am fortunate to have them. 

I was speaking with a friend the other day about how I have a lot on my plate right now. It seems like every week I'm working longer hours and have more things piling up on my to-do list. I was telling her about some of the standards I have for myself with when I expect myself to get work done. If I go to bed without responding to an email, it feels...wrong. It feels like I'm letting someone down. If I have a spare 30 minutes that I'm not usin ...

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