Did You Process Your Grief?

"Did you process your grief?" my therapist asked me. She wasn't referring to the obvious grief. She was referring to the grief underneath the surface, from three years ago. The grief that seemed so much longer ago, the grief that didn't seem necessary at the time. "No, I actually don't think I really did," I said. "I didn't realize at that time everything I was losing and now, I see it. And part of me wants to get it back." 

This was a conversation that took place in my most recent therapy session. I was in a romantic relationship for 8 years that ended in 2017. Most of us have at least one significant relationship in our 20s and this relationship had been mine - we were together for most of my 20s. I thought he would be the man I married, but it became more and more clear as time went on that our relationship was declining. I ended the relationship in early 2017 and started dating the man who would become my ...

Read more

What Are You Giving?

I recently received an email from a family member that said, "We have decided that in lieu of gifts this year, we would like you to donate to the following charity." They cited COVID as the reason because we will not be gathering like usual. Exchanging physical gifts doesn't really quite make sense. 

While I agreed with the logic of their request, my initial response surprised me because donating to charity is of course, a meaningful, wonderful thing to do. My initial response was, "But I want to buy something for you!" Though I don't really like going shopping normally, I have traditionally set aside a day during the month of December where I go to the mall and shop for everyone on my list. I LOVE this day. I enjoy the "hustle and bustle" and picking things out at various stores while Christmas music is playing. I feel like I'm in the holiday spirit. But is this really what the holidays are all about? 

Lin ...

Read more

While We Wait.

Election day was November 3rd. Today is November 6th. We don’t yet know who will be the president of our country for the next four years. We are waiting.

Some people use distraction to help them wait. They will focus on anything else except for the thing they are waiting for. Others over-focus on what’s being waited on. They struggle to pay attention to anything else. For me, I have always struggled with patience; it’s not my strong suit. I am the opposite of a procrastinator. While many people in my life view this as a strength that I get things done sooner rather than later, what most people don’t see is how this can be a by-product of anxiety. If I don’t get it done now, then what will happen? The same way that over-procrastination can wreak havoc on someone’s life (because nothing ever gets done and things get missed), so can doing too much (because you’re juggling all the things at once and driving your ...

Read more

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...

Loading...